Why is it so hard to love.?

I found out that God loves me very much, so I much that I don't deserve it. I want to do something back for God but I figured I cannot love God enough the way he has loved and died for my sinful selfish filthy unrepentant stubborn ignorant proud self. I am not really trying to paint an ugly picture of myself because I do consider myself a good person and respect other people but you don't have to be a criminal to shut yourself away from God. So I decided I'm gonna love people instead because people are just like me and through my unjudgemental acceptance of who people I interact with are, I hope toi let them know about God's love. I have a friend I particularly love and she is a good person but we are just not compatible for a relationship and she said she loves me deep down. However I've been recently trying to show her God but I fear this might bounce back on me as she might start to think I'm trying to convert her into loving me and God though I'd rather she love God more and be happier with her life first without needing a man. And also the more I try to show people God's love through living in accordance to the bible the more I'm hated socialy but I'm not realy bothered all I scared is losing my friend coz I love her a lot and if she had to go I would have to love God which I feel I cannot acheive